Hi! My name is Kristi Hepp and I am a worship intern at Frontline this year. Frontline Edmond is the congregation I have called home for the past three years now. Becoming an intern was not something I ever imagined doing, but the Lord is gracious beyond words and set everything in motion for me to be where I am today.
A little of my story: This past spring, I was four years into my career. I had gone to college, gotten a degree, and stepped into a job reluctantly. I had dreams that I wished I could pursue, but out of fear I settled into safety. There were daily conversations between God and I: He would remind me I could do something else, but since I was there, why not be on mission and shine His light to my coworkers. Yet, I would essentially plug my ears, blinded by my fear, and question where He was and why He had forsaken me.
His story is higher than ours though. These days and years of my career were not wasted, because He is the Great Redeemer of all things. Even when we take paths out of fear and hide away from our calling, God is working faithfully and able to use us. This is what He showed me. One day, amidst the same conversation of struggle and fear, He said, “if you’re choosing to be in this place, will you let me use you?” By His grace alone, I said “yes” that day. He opened my hands and used me greatly in that place. He was graciously showing me what is true: Even when we are faithless and fearful, He remains faithful. That is His higher story for us. It was never about the career I was in; it was always about who He is and the one great call to reflect Him to the world.
By His kindness alone, He gave me the opportunity to face my fear and step outside of the career I clung to for safety. He led me step by step into the internship. Here I am now a few months in, and I can hear you ask me: “Do you think it’s all been worth it?” Wholeheartedly, I can say “yes”. The Lord is doing work in my heart far deeper than I ever expected and honestly, deeper than I knew I needed.
He’s busting open my fear and my idol of security and giving me what is true. The Gospel says that God came to us in love before we ever did a single thing for Him. Before I ever held a job, or wrote a song. Before I ever loved Him or did anything for Him, He loved me. This is who our God is: He frees us from all our busyness and hustling “for” Him, and asks us to simply be with Him. He’s reminding me wherever my feet land is a place I can walk wholly in the calling of loved child of God. This is our truest, highest calling. May His words ever carry my weary, anxious heart back to this truth:
“What I do matters, but who I am matters much more.”
As we continue this year, this journey, I ask you to pray for all of us who are going through the intern program. Pray that we would learn the Father’s heart in these days. Pray that we would learn to rest as His loved children, and not believe the lie that His love comes and goes based on what we do or undo. Lastly, pray that God would use this year to transform each of us; that our joy may abound so greatly in Christ, that His glory and grace would be displayed more brightly to the lives around us no matter where our feet land.